Self-Talk Shift

We all speak to ourselves through our thoughts during the day. The way we talk to ourselves in difficult times can greatly affect our emotions and behaviors. For example, when things don’t go as expected, we might end up being very critical of our decisions. By paying attention to our internal dialogue, we can recognize our thought patterns and change the way we talk to ourselves to be more gentle, supportive, and affirming. This awareness helps us treat ourselves with the same kindness and understanding that we would offer to a close friend. For this practice, you may choose to either keep track of your thoughts in a journal or reflect through self-talk.

Part 1: Building Awareness

1. To begin this practice, note how you talk to yourself throughout the day. You may choose to do this over several days.
2. When you hear judgment from your inner voice, you may say or write the word, “noting.”
3. Then, take note of the experience that led to your critical self-talk. If it is helpful, you may also write this information down in your journal to recognize the specific phrases or words that you use to talk to yourself.

Part 2: Self-Talk Shift

1. As you become more familiar with your inner voice, you are ready to develop a more compassionate relationship with yourself.
2. Now, each time you note critical self-talk, imagine that you are consoling a close friend.
3. Think about what you would say to your friend and how you would say those words. You may say phrases like, “You’ve been working really hard,” “You are doing your best,” or “You deserve to rest.”
4. Create a mental or physical list of phrases that you can call upon when you notice that you are being tough or hard on yourself.

• How did this practice make you feel? Accept whatever that feeling may be, comfortable or uncomfortable.
• Was it easy or hard to shift from critical to compassionate self-talk? Why do you feel this way?
• Did you find this activity helpful in building self-compassion? How can you make this a daily or weekly practice?

Kernels Connection: Practice self-talk with your students using Self-Talk Superhero.